Moving on, it's time.

 I've not written many blog entries this year.  Some years are like that...but I'm glad the Google blogger is still available.  I remember when blogs were the thing to do. I recall back in 2012 reading a woman's daily posts from Sandpoint, Idaho...and I didn't even know her personally.  I wrote a reply to her and told her I enjoyed reading about her idyllic hobby rancher's life there with her husband.  They had horses, dogs, and since I had visited Sandpoint many years ago, we had something in common.  We were married to our husbands the same year, 1974.  I was 18 and she was 2 years older...but there the similarities ended.  Whereas she continued on her blissful married rural path, which I aspired to when I was a teen, I ended up back in the city and estranged from my husband, but enjoying the nightlife for awhile...perhaps too much.  Too much drinking and that's not what I had set out to do.

I've not had alcohol in 32 years and I don't miss it at all.  It's a good life without it, more like a child's enjoyment of good food and beverages, without booze mixed in.  It's weird to me to know alcohol is a toxin, not meant for our bodies yet the alcohol industry is huge and of mythic proportions...and it is all a myth.  Alcohol is a poison.  That's how I will lead into the next paragraph of white man and the North American Indians, because white man taught the Indians to drink and downfall, then the white man took the Indian little children and put them in residential schools, because the parents of these children were addicted to booze, many of them.  They should have given schools on Indian land to these children, the least white man could do...but no.

Now the residential schools are in the news all over the world because nearby where I live, in a city of Kamloops maybe 100 miles away ( my cousins live there currently and coincidentally they are teachers, retired - modern public school) the unmarked graves of 215 children were recently discovered behind the former residential school dating back to 1929. It's so sad.  Beautiful, gentle little Indian kids who were free and playing on their homeland, dragged away in the night...and dying one by one, diseases, malnutrition from unaccustomed foods.  Maybe some were killed intentionally.  It's just all too sad.

Coincidentally, I had already been planning to move from the resort here on Indian Band land where I've lived for 7 years.  I've been going to Kelowna, spending 3 or 4 nights per week there with my mother every week since November when we bought the condo in a 55+ community.  It's a beautiful setting and although the pandemic put a damper on things many residents say, almost apologetically, to us, we don't find it dull.  We met many new people, the buffet is back open on Sundays now, social distanced and I've discovered something about myself....

I'm reading J.R.R. Tolkien: A Biography, at my Mom's and my 3rd floor vaulted ceiling condo, at sunset, in the sunroom, each evening after dinner, in Kelowna.  I loved the Lord of the Rings series of books and movies.  I don't feel the author is totally aware of Tolkien's nuanced brilliance in subtle ways.  The author isn't kind in some ways I feel, although the history seems accurate.  Tolkien valued his family very much.  It wasn't a plain life, as the author seems to suggest, lived out in the imagination of the famous books.  Tolkien's was a secure, loving and kind life, with a wife and children.  He loved the countryside of his youth, and disliked people imposing on nature's beauty.  He lived through the combat of WW1, and lost friends in the war.

I don't want to be alone anymore.  The pandemic has brought out feelings of loneliness I didn't know existed within me.  I want to be with someone, or with people, like I was years ago all the time.  I'm through with this self imposed solitary life which I needed for awhile after the deaths.  I don't need it anymore.  I'm tired of going back and forth to Kelowna and living out of a suitcase since November, as my age is a factor now.  I just get tired, especially after the melanoma and during the pandemic.  So it's back to the city where I can be close to Mom in her final years, and I'm glad.

I wrote down the many pros and cons of moving, as I like written reasons in front of me.  The pros of moving outweighed the cons.  And now there's the residential school news every day.  Let me tell you something from my personal experience living on Indian Land.  White man here still doesn't respect the Indians.  If they did, whitie would try harder to include Indians in financial decisions regarding upgrading the resort. Our water plant needs upgrading, same with our septic.  The condos need painting, from strata funds.  We just don't have the leadership from white strata council and they are not quite respectful about the land we're on.  We are privileged to live here.  Instead, white man thinks they are doing the Indian band a favor by having the resort here.  It's too messed up, presently, and I don't see things progressing on this land.

Tomorrow my realtor is taking inside photos of my resort condo and I'm listing at the end of August.  I want pics now as the place is staged, and after pics I can start gradually sorting and boxing my stuff.  I have pink peonies in a vase near my laptop.  The fragrance is subtle and lovely as I type.  They grew in my garden out back.  I have dark pink roses in a vase on my fireplace mantle, and a  crystal vase of small coral pink roses in my bedroom, where the window view is the field with wild pink rosebushes in bloom.

I always sought and found beauty in my life.  I want a beautiful life.  And now more than ever, I want to share my life with those people, or someone, who wants the same things as I do.  Love, always.

Lu

Happy 2021! Finding the way.

 Words.  I watched a sermon on tv today...usually I record Joel Osteen, Texan preacher/philosopher and regardless of others' religious beliefs, I find him & his wife to be most helpful.  You can't form an opinion on the Bible unless you've read it and studied it imo.  I don't know the Bible, maybe less than 10%. Some stories in there are historical and most interesting.

You can't get into a discussion about religion easily as people have strong opinions and become emotionally charged.  I think religious talk should be calm, peaceful, and harmonious for  good exchanges.

Words are the rudder that steers the ship was the message today.  Your tongue is the rudder. Your words and declarations are what you become when you speak and the voiced thoughts are given life...especially if they are written or recorded in some way.  You can't take them back...they are out in the world forever.

This is the problem with relationships I've found.  When someone voices words against me, the situation is changed and sometime damage is irreparable.  I've said the wrong things, too, I must admit, but I've moved on. I didn't ever say harsh words to my father.  I totally respected him and understood his sensitivity.  I don't recall he said any harsh words to me.  He was strong, and he avoided conflict with us, though he and my mother had some battle royales...both Aries and butting heads!  I love them both.

I lost my father to colon cancer 28 years today.  I remember leaning back in my chair at night in his room at the hospital.  I sat close to the window and snow fell outside, almost a blizzard...a fading bouquet of red roses on the windowsill beside me.  I held his hand as he took his last breaths.  Breath was faint...and then nothing. It seems not so long ago.

Losing my father was very difficult.  I wasn't assertive in those days...more the role player of the studious honour student...the brainiac with little practical use for my learned experiences, the one who easily agreed with others to keep peace.  He couldn't be with us in person to help me with family conversations.  Many many years later I learned to stand up for myself and use my life experience in a practical way.

So here I am...animal rights activist of many years, human rights supporter, pres or vice pres of our strata council for 20 years where I lived...still when Dad was alive I was president.  I kept getting re-elected...people trusted me and I'm proud of that.  I'm not on council now where I live...by choice.

Dad is happy how things turned out this year with Mom & me...I think he helped from his realm in eternity.  I fought with relatives for her rights. She loves the condo we bought and she moved to in November.  I couldn't put her in a seniors' home during the pandemic.  Those homes are filled with covid.  I really asserted myself, changed relationships, proved I could protect Mom.  I learned a lot...but I'll be careful what I say here.  Love is the answer.

Happy New Year and stay healthy! 

My Potato Chip Theory

 Here's a good interview by Bob Dylan in the New York Times and I've always liked reading what he has to say about things because although he is obviously an highly inspired artist, he's also folksy at times with wisdom, reminding me of Mark Twain. But there's only one Bob Dylan, thank you.  

Bob Dylan's views re the younger generation, those in their 20's and younger, brought to mind my potato chip theory, which I've recounted with others as I reminisce, thinking of easier times of few choices.

You may call them "crisps" in the UK and I'm referring to those bags of thin potato wafers.  Here is an example of choices...young people...and a reason I think why we are in such a state of confusion, although there's no easy way out.  I'm quite serious.

When I was a child, a baby boomer generation, back in the early 1960's, we had fewer choices...about everything.  We had one type of potato chips in the grocery store, in bags...or at the corner store, whatever...I can recall only one type - plain salted.  We were excited to see the ripple chips next, which were ridged...but still plain salted.

The next few years brought a big change...BBQ potato chips hit the shelves!  You needed napkins for those as the orange salty residue remained on the fingers.  Paper towels were not yet invented, those rolled types.  Next in quick succession came along salt & vinegar chips, sour cream & onion.  Now thousands of brand and varieties of potato chips are on the market, including non-gluten, vegan, nonsalted etc etc. We didn't have those choices when we were children in our privileged societies, which made things easier for us.  We could go through the day without all those decisions every minute.  It's just too much now, and of course we're ruining the environment as we provide all these products, all purchased so corporations can compete with each other and have their days of power, acting like Julius Caesar or some other high profile historical figure.

Now the preteens and 20 somethings have thousands of choices of everything, from food items, to computers, to music sources....to politics.  They are not conditioned to make a correct choice...they don't know what a good choice is.  They were taught to trust their elders and everything is a good choice in their minds.  Everything is at their disposal.  They can't be led in one direction or the other.  It's not their fault.  They can't see a clear and correct choice. We did it...we are at blame.  Why?  Maybe because in our privileged culture we wanted the children to have a great advantage. Sensory overload, indecision, and confusion resulted.  

They have allegiance to no brand, no politician, no great cause.  In a way they are more free than we are.  It's just my theory, not a fact....but then everything is theory when you think of it.  We can prove nothing, not even in physics.  But then again, I don't believe in gravity.  I think it's a celestial "Push" spinning the Earth, not a "Pull"...and I'm not alone in this belief!  You can Google it!

World views

Today was a beautiful August day here at the resort, my home for six years  I'm having a nice time shutting out the world because I feel somewhat powerless during this pandemic.  I loved watching the grasshopper fly into my garden and land on a big green squash leaf.  I loved the bumblebee exploring every tiny blossom on my sunflower, and I know each flower will become a seed for me to eat.

I loved sitting at the beach by this lake and no one was there, except for a few paddleboarders and kayakers passing by, as well as mallard ducks.  The eagle came by for lunch again, appearing from blue sky and plunging talons into the water close to shore with a splash, lifting a fish into the air.

We could solve world problems step by step.  Unfortunately we don't have enough kind, intelligent people working together so...I can't see it. This world is a mess right now, now way to sugar coat it. 

First, we must accept nature as a superior force. If we were kind and smart we would see nature is the answer.  No factory farms, which will be future breeding grounds for diseases, no gmo's, no wet markets, no clear cutting forests, no more pipelines, no speciesism.

RESPECT.  Respect those who have tried to make our world better in past generations.  Yes, mistakes abounded and we evolve year by year.  In my opinion the riots have to stop.  It's like the worst behaviour coming out at the worst possible time. 

Go home to your families or comforts and count your blessings.  Anyone on the streets destroying property is raising Hell, literally imo. They are not thinking of the people who are trying to build things for them, people who want a nice, happy, life.  The hellraisers are not thinking of the taxpayers who will have to pay for repairs.

If people think they can do better, run for office and try to help that way.  I don't see anyone in America stepping it up, volunteering to run for President, except Kanye maybe.  Americans are so quick to criticize and blame, yet they don't want to volunteer to help.  They can't even wear masks or stop gathering on masse, most of them.  I don't even want to think of what will happen when Canada opens the borders.

In fact, I don't want to think of anything right now, except for love and good people who are kind, because I always say, intelligence and kindness go hand in hand.

A pic of me with birthday gifts last month and my gal pal, Cindy, at Brandts Creek.

August greetings

Happy Lammas or Lughnasadh !  A traditional day of marriage, which could be null & void within a year and a day if ceremony took place on August 1st.  I always thought if I got married again it would be on August 1st.  I wrote many years ago

At Lammastide when I will marry
Hawaiian ginger I shall carry,
My bouquet at Lammastide
When I become my lover's bride

Originally it was "gladioli I will carry" but I changed it to "Hawaiian ginger" after visiting the islands.

I'm feeling well.  We have a heat spell going on here & I'm glad to be at my place near the private lake on Indian land.  Who knew I'd make such a good choice years ago, to be protected a little bit from the pandemic hopefully on this property, whereas mainly all other lakes in the valley are public and really super crowded this BC Day long weekend. Here's a photo yesterday as smoke started to roll in.

When I lived in town, many people didn't know back in the '80's and '90's all beachfront is public and they dared not set up their umbrellas and blankets on the beach in front of houses.  Now, you could have a home where strangers sit in your yard at the shore with their items including personal bbq, not just walk past as they did years ago out of respect for your privacy.  Not here on Indian land, not happening!

Still, I look forward to getting a place on a tropical island, for wintering, if I live to see the day.

Besides, forest fire smoke is moving in, perfectly timed with the heat wave, because as always it's a neglectful human caused fire somewhere in the hills nearby.  At least I had a few days of clean air...if you don't take into account the haze of steady emission streams from vehicles of tourists and locals.  I like good classic vehicles though...so I can't talk.  I have a classic 77 Mustang and a newer Jeep...but I was here first...sort of...after the Indians. Perhaps the soul of a race car driver jumped into my body at the day of his death when I was born. I'm comfortable with cars, know the sounds, repairs, parts, etc.. I drive properly not recklessly.  Race car drivers are careful as well, they will tell you.

Yes I love humanity but people are acting a little more crazy than usual in their boredom of social distancing, wanting escape.   I'll be the next one to say "I can't breathe!!".  Seriously, let's work on the problems the pandemic has exposed and we'll be ok.

Here's a pic of my garden. My section is up to and including the iris speary leaves. It isn't so quaint, but produce is good.  I have tomatoes, squash, herbs, cukes, peppers, beans, rhubarb, raspberries, gooseberries, red currants picked, finished peas, spinach, and lettuce.  I have fresh cherries in the fridge and I'm going to make a big peach pie soon to take to Mom's, as I bought new huge pie pans.

Time to go sit by the lake in the shade for a bit, forecast 37C temp.  It's not a Purple Haze but a grey one.  I'll be content with my place in life at present and hope for a splendid future in my official government acknowledged retirement!

Who or what am I?

Here's who I am.  Long ago, or is it tomorrow in a galaxy we have 12 major constellations in a circular pattern seen from Earth.  Many more star patterns exist, but these 12 are historically significant. Why?  Chilliwack, a BC band from the 70's in lyrics "time is like a rubber band."  Time vibrates like a guitar string.  It's all harmony of the spheres, it's all sacred geometry.  Few care to learn about the basis of our lives so how are we to exist?

I love people, the Earth, and animals.  I hate speciesism, as this belief of superiority of humans will destroy us.  I try to help and I've seen some hope and improvement recently....  I love beautiful thoughts and beautiful everything.

If this is true re time vibrating, and we can't prove it, then we have an answer for the significance of 12, since beginning of recorded history.  In Chinese astrology we have the 12 palaces of the sky, Indian astrology same number of houses, and in Western astrology, same.  In the Bible we have 12 disciples and in Arthurian mythology we have 12 knights sitting at a round table.  The knights each signify a constellation, according to analysis of "Le Morte D'Arthur" by Sir Thomas Malory.

I've studied English Literature in university, ancient texts, and astrology for several decades. Linda Goodman's groundbreaking book, Sun Signs, published in 1968 helped bring the science and art of star signs to the public in a very basic way.

Now, who am I?  All I understand is I have no Earth in my chart, and if time is like a rubber band, I float on rays of sun, water, and air...but alas, I'm not really grounded.  I think this is the reason why I "gravitate" to certain people at certain times in my life.

I am of the constellation Cancer, with an emphasis on my 8th house, the house of death, sex, estates, and taxes among other things.  I have Scorpio rising, (birth hour is necessary to calculate rising sign) and I've had to literally fend off unwanted attention from members of the opposite sex all my life. Men who I wanted, I didn't have a problem.  My 65th birthday is on the 12th...and age doesn't make a difference to anyone, except that I've experienced much of the same things as others of my age which helps me to mature my nature.

It's for these described reasons, if you get me, and other reasons including my recent melanoma, I don't have time for anything but true people anymore.  I don't want a boyfriend, I want to have a healthy fulfilling life with people who are with me because we can nurture each other to be our best, creative, imaginative selves.

I don't think we have an answer to the pandemic.  People want to stubbornly resist learning from nature.  Even the plants know what is toxic and what is nourishment, to the body and spirit.  The birds of the sky, the fish, the trees and the water and air "know" what is toxic and what is nourishment.  The only species who don't instinctively know is the human species.  We continue to fill our minds and bodies with toxins and pollute our world.

Maybe someday, the creator, whoever or whatever that may be, will solve it all.  Until then I will continue to follow my own truth...floating.  I don't want your money, your possessions, or your soul.  I want to find answers and oh yeah...have enjoyment in life!  That's all.  Bette Davis sums it up perfectly, except it's going to be
More than a night!

And it's time the USA citizens became a touch less egocentric, maybe?  They don't need no education... they need some education about everything.  You can't blame the pied piper...he has his finger on the pulse.

Doing the right thing

I'm thinking of a story Roger Waters told, on a Twitter video a few days ago...about his mother and the advice of doing the right thing.  I find great comfort in those words.  The world can be a mixed up place of misplaced values everywhere and it can be a great place if we choose to make it happen. Passion and intellect!

Right now, are people doing the right thing re "Black Lives Matter" and huge protests or are we perhaps doing some harm through large groups marching during a pandemic?  Are some of these people bored of quarantine?  Looks like they want to support a cause & get a social gathering out of it at the same time, standing up for injustice. I'm becoming doubtful and cynical sometimes, regarding motives, but I like to stay cheerful.  Maybe protesting is the right thing at the wrong time?  I don't know.  You're always going to get the hooligans ready to burn and destroy things, then the taxpayer foots the bill.

Doing the right thing is almost comparable to "Do No Harm" the mantra of ancient physicians.  I just saw a video on Twitter where a whale jumped out of his barren concrete water enclosure and the comments eluded to the whale was self harming, like trying to kill himself.  Are people, though well meaning, so convinced of speciesism they are attributing human characteristics to animals?  No, the whale was doing everything according to survival instincts...to exercise his muscles, as he would in the ocean and in doing so leaped out of the enclosure as if trying to find a better place...okay if you look obscurely, maybe death is a better place but I'm certain not the intention.

Thinking of the band Pink Floyd, Roger Waters was and is Pink Floyd, from beginning to now. The proof is in Wikipedia, and I always thought so because no one could write lyrics and music like Roger Waters...no one, not even Paul & John of the Beatles imo.

I'll tell you why I think so in another post sometime, or someone can just ask me, maybe Roger! Dream on, wouldn't that be great.  It's all to do with nature, alchemy, physics and many other things I don't really understand but I try to learn.  Not only is Roger Waters the founder of Pink Floyd, he is a very strong person to stand up to claims by others. He's truly a special man, with kindness not even understood by some people.  I think I get it.  Then again, I'm a Sheep in Chinese astrology, and so is Roger, Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, except they are all 12 years older than me.  What a grand time that was, back in 1943, all born within months of each other, all fantastic British musicians and artists.  Wow, what was in the stars during that time?  I like astrology and astronomy, just like the ancients.

Bye for now, I'll write more soon.  My garden needs watering at home in BC and the days before the Solstice are lengthy, so I have time before the mosquitoes arrive at dusk.  One thing I love about the tropics, no mosquitoes, gnats etc to plague me all evening.  Oh Canada.  I want my tropical paradise at least part of the year....after the pandemic!  Last year's garden end of May, with wild pink roses and the north field. This year just blooming now, a bit later.