Renowned in Battle

The title of my blog relates to the meaning of my name. I have a framed artistic description of my name.  The framed item was gifted many years ago and I keep it on a high shelf in my den/spare bedroom. Recently I feel like a battle maid, with a sword in each hand, swinging out at opponents left and right.  It's like a dark force has singled me out to see how strong I can be, like a test of endurance.

It's not  me, it's them.  Little oppositions and other 7 or 8 year big oppositions, all surfacing. Example - a bullying male relative with a shady past resurfacing again to pester my elderly mother to the point I said to him "I'll have to seek outside help if you continue."  And I do need outside help....I have no back up.  This guy and his sister are double teaming me.

Others are lying to me...and I find out later.  My stress level is zooming up.  I had to have a heart rate test...everything checks out.  I have a melanoma on my forearm.  It must be removed...it's the least of my concerns while I wait for an appointment.  It's not like I recklessly exposed myself to the sun during cruises or summer, but generally I don't cover my arms out in the garden, so be it.

Things are building and I don't know why, or what is the lesson I have to learn?  I'm trying.  Everything starts out mellow, like today, nice sunshine November, exactly 5 years since I moved to Lake Country.  I had early move in privileges before possession date when I bought my condo here. Do I deserve someone blocking my way out of the gas station on purpose today?  No.  Did he watch my blonde hair blowing in the sunshine while I pumped gas into my Jeep, and then he decided to "have some fun." ???

Did I deserve an elderly neighbour scream at me with spit flying because I parked too close to my edge of the driveway, when always I've given him way too much room?  No, I did not deserve that tirade.  I've cleaned snow for his old lazy ass for years on that driveway. My other good neighbour did intervene when he saw the commotion.  I was in danger it looked like.

I need some back up.  I wish I could seriously say, sort of like Barbara Stanwyck in Double Indemnity when Walter Neff is making advances "Why don't you try crying on my husband's shoulder".  I'm not a helpless female by any means...but sometimes I need all my strength, swords flying, to fend off the attacks.  Help. God be with me.