Lammas Eve 2018

Another year and only one posting here by me since LammasTide 2017.  Such a fast year since then.  Some years are changes a person can notice, like a change of house or locale, or events attended...but this year since January is more of a change in my thought processes.  I've had to stand up for myself and challenge people more than ever and I feel more real, more assertive, more kind to myself. 

I think kindness and intelligence are the same thing, and our path to enlightenment is the same as kindness.  But what is kindness?  The stereotype kindness we can all understand, including volunteer work and donating to charities, and signing petitions.  I do all that...but kindness is more I believe.  When I say to a person "I cannot accept your ways or your behaviour directed at me because ultimately I'm not being true to myself and my mental, physical health is affected"  I feel in speaking up I'm doing a favour to myself and to the person.  It's like saying "Hey, this is what I need right now.  If you don't respect my needs I can't include you in my life at this hour, this day, this year, or perhaps forever.  Why?  Why not now when I allowed it before?  The reason is I could tolerate more before, but I'm getting older and clearly I feel my body and mind can't take the toll.  It amounts to abuse in a way."  I'm being kindest to others when I express my highest needs and give the choice to them - take it or leave it.

Of course I honour my family, my dearest friends, and I try to please them.  But some others have taken advantage of my good nature I believe, and although I knew they were doing it - no more.  I'm doing a disservice to them and me by allowing certain habits of behaviour to continue.

The way of existing, honouring oneself seems so obvious but it's not easy.  It's not the same as indulging oneself.  It's not the same as making excuses for oneself.  Honouring oneself is honoring creation.  It's not conceit, nor vanity.  Honouring oneself is truly looking at the Creator and asking "Why am I here?  What do you want me to be?"  and then I try to live life with honour.

I'm a Cancer, Chinese sign the Sheep.  The mantra in my Chinese book of astrology says

I am nature's special child
I trust and am rewarded by trust
Fortune smiles upon my countenance
All things blossom
In the gentleness of my love.
I strive to find beauty in all I behold.
I am fair of face
And full of grace.

I am the Sheep.

Happy Lammas, fair ones, no matter what race or religion.  I honour you.