What things stay the same

It isn't a question - what things stay the same.  Here's more about me, recently.  My garden is small but was awesome this year.  I love gardening.  I gave away more than 100 tomatoes to neighbours and friends and I still have lots, green ones in brown paper should ripen a few at a time til Christmas!  I spent time in the garden every day, gave away zucs, herbs, mixed lettuce, peppers, and more - and still I had plenty for my own fridge.  I should post some pics.  My flowers are amazingly huge right now, no frost by the house yet, although my dahlias froze on Sunday.  They were massive plants and many red blooms. 

The days are golden.  Birds sing long drawn out high songs of Autumn.  Quail rustle in the leaves and I look that way, watching for a bear.  My neighbour's cat makes a high arched pounce in tall grass and then walks to the clearing with a mouse for me.  Ducks make ripples in their wake on the still lake.  I have many interests, many about nature.  Nature is a song, a rhythm, and maybe fractals upon fractals all in harmony.  It's art and science and magic all in one.

The moon is lovely outside my window, a bright big crescent.  My house is always clean - a bit of a clean freak I am.  I feel good.  Every night I have a shower and sit down with a big bowl of fruit to watch my recorded tv programs, usually after 10 pm, fireplace on.  I get sleepy after midnight, then I go get some shut eye, as the Westerners say, now with my warmed thermal blanket.  I've always been a night person.  I dig it. Right now my bowl of fruit is going to be watermelon, pears and grapes, local Bartlett pears and Coronation grapes, so fragrant from the vines near my house.  I have my friends, my family.

Would I like you to be with me sometime, my fantasy lover?  Yes, on your terms, when you are ready.  I'm not going to go find someone online...I'm too content and that would make me way too nervous.  I like calm and peace now.  I love my life and wouldn't mind to see a new phase, but it will happen as a tide, a river, or a season, naturally and on time.

Lammas Eve 2018

Another year and only one posting here by me since LammasTide 2017.  Such a fast year since then.  Some years are changes a person can notice, like a change of house or locale, or events attended...but this year since January is more of a change in my thought processes.  I've had to stand up for myself and challenge people more than ever and I feel more real, more assertive, more kind to myself. 

I think kindness and intelligence are the same thing, and our path to enlightenment is the same as kindness.  But what is kindness?  The stereotype kindness we can all understand, including volunteer work and donating to charities, and signing petitions.  I do all that...but kindness is more I believe.  When I say to a person "I cannot accept your ways or your behaviour directed at me because ultimately I'm not being true to myself and my mental, physical health is affected"  I feel in speaking up I'm doing a favour to myself and to the person.  It's like saying "Hey, this is what I need right now.  If you don't respect my needs I can't include you in my life at this hour, this day, this year, or perhaps forever.  Why?  Why not now when I allowed it before?  The reason is I could tolerate more before, but I'm getting older and clearly I feel my body and mind can't take the toll.  It amounts to abuse in a way."  I'm being kindest to others when I express my highest needs and give the choice to them - take it or leave it.

Of course I honour my family, my dearest friends, and I try to please them.  But some others have taken advantage of my good nature I believe, and although I knew they were doing it - no more.  I'm doing a disservice to them and me by allowing certain habits of behaviour to continue.

The way of existing, honouring oneself seems so obvious but it's not easy.  It's not the same as indulging oneself.  It's not the same as making excuses for oneself.  Honouring oneself is honoring creation.  It's not conceit, nor vanity.  Honouring oneself is truly looking at the Creator and asking "Why am I here?  What do you want me to be?"  and then I try to live life with honour.

I'm a Cancer, Chinese sign the Sheep.  The mantra in my Chinese book of astrology says

I am nature's special child
I trust and am rewarded by trust
Fortune smiles upon my countenance
All things blossom
In the gentleness of my love.
I strive to find beauty in all I behold.
I am fair of face
And full of grace.

I am the Sheep.

Happy Lammas, fair ones, no matter what race or religion.  I honour you.