Tis the Season

I don't want to dwell, but no one should have to fear living in their own building because of a pyschotic predator. I can't explain it all. An elderly lady befriended my mother & I at the building patio summer '21 & this lady, Jean I'll call her wanted to have Sunday dinner with us in the diningroom which is paid per use as we have a chef. Jean had a few dinners with us, her dementia got worse as months progressed. I moved in with Mom end of '21, sold my condo & put stuff in my own city storage. Mom's dementia was increasing & she needed help. Before Xmas '22, Jean came over in disarray unannounced to our condo unit. She said she had fallen & a man helped her. She had bruises around her wrists. She was confused. Xmas Eve a lady in a unit 1st floor asked if she could sit with Mom & me in the diningroom. Her Mexican female helper, Josie, was on life support in the hospital. Josie had fallen outside of the storeroom area in the garage and hit her head on the cement a couple days before. A lady & man in the building saw Josie fall fall. She had keys in her hand. A terrible story on Christmas Eve. Josie, a healthy 50 yr old, died before New Year's Day. A few days after Christmas 🎄, I went to the storage room. Our new maintenance man cornered me there. He's around 70 yrs. The area is a maze. I yelled at him, kicked him in the groin, swore at him, locked my storage & left. I told a person in charge of managing the building. The maintenance man left this city after New Year's. That's when I found out he had raped Jean, the day she came over to our place before Christmas. I said he's not coming back, but the Strata council here had him back on payroll March '23. Another woman has died, one who befriended him. I explained everything to council. The police were here. This maintenance guy has an alias name, I think a criminal record, but police won't tell me. My lawyer didn't go far with it, as it's difficult. It's a dangerous situation, but they can't prove anything, as 2 women are dead & Jean, who the maintenance man raped, has dementia. This guy has been with several old ladies here. He wants money. The ladies don't know what to do so they don't resist his advances. They are old fashioned stupid ladies. I warn new women. That's all I can do. I am.very angry with the stupidity here. Men obviously don't know what to do with this guy who lives here, moved into a unit June'23. No one should live like this. The system & people are failing me. It's our world right now. Rapists are allowed. Murderers are allowed. All I can do is be careful. Thanks for reading 📚 this novel. I'll just practice my self defense, keep strong & not let peckerhead, that's my name for him, ruin my Christmas. The best way to contact me is through Jesse W in Hawaii as he has my name, email & cell number. I'll allow a select very few to contact me in Kelowna. Thanks. Happy holidays ❤️

Reading Source Code by Bill Gates

August and all is well. I'm enjoying summer & currently I'm on a comfy couch in my warm sunroom with many plants 🪴 around me. Between swims, the beach ⛱️, visits to the carehome of my elder, & chores, this room non AC is so restful to enjoy reading my new hardcover book , Source Code.

As well as being a really well written, informative, intense book with humour, I have many memories of the same things Bill Gates refers to in his childhood. I was born in the same year, a few months prior to Bill's birth in the Pacific NW. I'm in BC, he was in Seattle. Our mothers were born in 1929, a few months apart. His mother was July 5th, my birthday is the 12th. His mother passed in 1994, my father passed in 1993 RIP.

Gates family had World 🌎 Book mid 1960s. We did, too. We both went to Sunday school, read similar books, saw similar movies. We both liked hiking around in the outdoors, though Bill did more hiking than I did by far. The story of the Scouts nut sales was funny. 😆 

We both went through the turbulence of the 1960s & 70s rebellious teenager hippie era. It's all so familiar reading his descriptions. 

All the history of computers described is fascinating in the book. Only big difference in our past, astrology is a big part of who I am I believe. As sun sign Cancer ♋️ I witnessed much interest all around me in my teens re astrology. Bill Gates does not mention his Scorpio sun sign. He's very much Scorpio ♏️, holds his cards close to his chest, only lets you know what he wants you to know, but that said, I think he did an excellent heartfelt job of opening up as much as a Scorpio can, and more. Some parts of the book I've cried 😢 and I'm halfway through! 

It's a lovely, great book about computers starting out, about youth in the era, about a lot of things. He doesn't ever brag, gives tons of credit to others, yet he vastly changed the world and continues to do so through philanthropy. So far, I'll give Source Code an A1, or if Bill Gates prefers, an A3, if it was effortless. He explains these scores in the book! Thanks, blessings from God. This book is helping me through a difficult time with a loved one who has dementia. Bill's father had dementia. It's not easy to watch when you have to go through it, but there are good parts to their memory loss. The good memories tend to stay with them.

Thanks! I'll update later! 🌞 ☀️ Carry on! Love conquers all. 💕 

Try to understand

Almost June. I'm enjoying the season & for sports, hockey 🏒 playoffs I like. It is healthy sports & brings back good memories of fam, too.

I'm trying to understand more about mythology & constellations as astronomy & astrology were one in ancient times, for a big reason, the basis of our existence with God, whoever 🙏 the Creator is.

Starting with the constellation Sagittarius ♐️,  I went back through links online to the Sumerians. I'm trying to make some peace in my soul in understanding that astrological sign, as I can't seem to ever agree with sun sign native Sag's train of thought, important for my own life. Speaking of my Sag sister also, who I love. But trust? After the MAID on her father-in-law. I can't get past it, 3 years. She shouldn't have done it with my bro-in-law. My mother is happy in a very modern lovely long term carehome. Why was this guy's father denied life or made to feel so worthless? Because of his money?

Yes, I see the freedom loving expansive nature of Sag, love of travel, lack of responsibility. I know the good qualities but also the horse part tramples on people, not just once, but often, in pursuit of their own dreams. The secret of Sagittarius, who aims his arrow 🏹 at Antares, the main star in Scorpio ♏️,  is not to stab Scorpio in the heart, but to gain from higher knowledge, which is the lesson of transition from rulers of 8th house to 9th house of Sag. Few Sagittarians attain this goal imo yet we're expected to be joyful they are exploring. 

Anyway, I'm busy, so I thought I'd pass on that bit of info.  You never know what may be. 

Love ❤️ L

May Days

I've not posted in awhile so during hockey intermission on tv I felt like catching up here. I'm watching the Panthers Leafs game 1 of 2nd round. Too bad the Van Canucks aren't in the playoffs. I hope to see them win the Stanley Cup 🏆 during my lifetime. If it ain't broke don't fix it, mgrs. Last year was close to a final round!

Everything is good & I've been busy. My mother is in a wonderful brand new longterm care home & I'm very grateful 🙏.  I'm her only caregiver and her increasing dementia is traumatic for me in some ways, although it's a somewhat easier time when she doesn't remember her drug addiction of past. The last few months of her living with me were tiring but I love her & no one else will help, long story. Plus there's the MAID  bro-in-law did to his wealthy father 3 years ago so I can't trust this bro-in-law & my sister does what he wants. It's all weird family dynamics here & Mom doesn't have a clue anymore. 

Sorry I've let my creativity slide 🛝 in some ways, but I'm still really interested in many things. Nature, astrology, some politics. I had high hopes for Trump helping end the war in Ukraine but now I have my doubts. I don't think Putin trusts him, and having watched an elder decline with dementia I think Trump is heading that way...too much rambling speech now. 

I don't know. I adore Elon Musk, but I worry he believes perhaps too strongly in the current medical science direction, and the current evolution of humans. Sorry, Lonnie. I like Ancient Aliens show & believe 90% of our DNA is definitely not junk! It's not been decoded. I believe we are making steps, but all is one & we must not abuse nature but learn from the perfection or we destroy ourselves and the future of our children is at risk. Nature 🌳 is no waste. The Lord or aliens have the answers. 

The ancient stylized frescos & carvings were very advanced like a decoder, like a device could be held up to decode, or our minds could decode in front of the art. Maybe that's why a picture tells a thousand stories. Maybe art is a depiction of what we should see. 

Astrology for the future? We are nearing a revolution. For Canada 🇨🇦 Mark Carney is a sun sign Pisces ♓️.  Not many politicians are Pisces. They are the last, wise old person sign of the zodiac & they see the futility of struggle. Pisces wants everyone to get along. Aries ♈️ is the baby 👶 1st sign ruling the head, and Pisces is the last, ruling the feet. Interesting because historically we need our feet, our own power to move ahead, into the next cycle. It's not our butts that move us ahead, it's our feet! So Pisces knows how to use earth 🌎 energy. The 12th house. 

Bye. The game is on! Chat soon! ❤️ 😍 💖 Love you.

Happy Winter Solstice

The minute you say you are a genius, people know you are not. Same as being pretty 😍.  When you say it, that's very vain & not smart, then you are not pretty.  All in the eye of the beholder. We're all different, but I'm finding most people are so far from finding the meaning of life because they really aren't looking. 

Today is winter solstice, and I believe Jesus's birthday 🎂.  3 wise men were astrologers  finding the birthplace & time. In other  ancient manuscripts  it was witches 🧙‍♀️ who claimed the firstborn.

It's all fractals & sacred geometry. Leonardo da Vinci knew it. There's a genius.  I'm an original thinker, that's all. I piece things together based on previous knowledge, & knowledge is fractals extending outward. 

In every ancient culture we read there's a God, a human woman & and a son. All are true history. Jesus is not the last incarnation. It's not like that. He is the newest leaf 🍃 fractal on the tree 🌳 of life. It starts with our sun 🌞 & cosmic Astral wheel of houses, constellations of our creators. It's not sacrilegious to say so.  Jesus existed to help, & he's part of the fractal sacred pattern.

Everything has a purpose. People don't care. Animal colors, feather patterns, fur, body structure, all fractal geometry to be learned. Plants, structure, purpose. They hold cures for everything. AI won't find the truth as we don't know the correct data to feed. AI can't think. You know where we fail immensely? It's our failure to love. 💕 If we love the purity, truth, & goodness of God's creations, we would begin to learn why we are here. 

There's no such thing as light years. We don't "travel through" space yet. There's no gravity. It's the centrifugal force of Earth 🌎 spinning. Current popular theories are no more truthful than my own theories. Prove it. The only proof we have is the existence of love. Evil is live spelled backwards. We know of the existence of evil 😈 all around us, too. 

Satan thought he could do better than God. He cannot. God created us & he, whether he is an alien or some being He will protect us if we believe & call on him. Our bodies are our wifi temples. 

Happy ❣️ holidays. I'm a full time caregiver now, but she was finally admitted to a longterm carehome, starting January we think. I love her but it's next level exhaustion. She's like a child going backwards. A child learns things, grows, is rewarding for the parent. An elder with dementia unlearns things, regresses, and it's not a rewarding feeling for the son or daughter. The silver lining is the person with dementia has no idea they are unlearning. Love ❤️ and heartbreak all rolled up into Christmas 🎄 and we still find the joy. Peace ☮️ 

Almost August

 The fawns were lovely in our flowerbeds today, after a rain. They were helping! Deer actually like to eat marigolds, trimming them. 🦌 The mothers were nearby. Animal mothers are instinctually superior to human mothers in some ways, no offense!

I'm not going to spend much time on this post, because the subject is psychiatry, and I'm worn out talking & thinking about it. I had a counselor years ago very briefly, but no prescriptions. A dear elderly person I'm close to & love, however, went through the Hell of head meds for 60 years. Psychiatry & head meds are inseparable. This person tried dozens of various "antidepressants" over the years, without stopping. Side effects varied, became more severe as she aged. Choking while eating, neuropathy, 4 esophagus dilation surgeries, dizziness, headaches etc etc. Lots of lies & hiding meds, too. It was traumatic for all of us. 

Head Meds Do Not Work. Period. Not maybe. Not at all. It's Big Pharma making money 💰 to fund training etc for students to teach them the wrong damaging things.

The only exception should be a dangerous psychotic person, to sedate, as a precaution, & instutionalize those who are a danger to society.

One day, after a particularly bad session this loved one had with her psychiatrist, (who was referred by doctor & therefore visits were no charge) I stormed into the pysc's office, wearing my pointy black suede boots, & I screamed at this "doctor" & her receptionist - (who was her mother at the desk btw, as the doctor was quite young & stupid.) I'd had enough & the psychiatrist had been advising my loved one financially. "You have no right!" I screamed.

Anyway, I've been to Hell & back with loved ones in my life. "Why me, God? " I sometimes ask. The person in question withdrew, with family doctor supervision, from all the head meds 3 years ago. She's happy, no choking, no neuropathy, no headaches. I'm done though.  She needed help to live, and I'm not going through this head med or (alcohol) nightmare again. I'm too old & life is too beautiful to live with a ball & chain of drugs & booze.

Besides, note to self. You are only really trusted when you are free & clean, not addicted, because as much as it hurts you & others, we all know your life, your God, is the pills or liquor, & everything else is 2nd. 

Trump write The Art of the Deal in 1987. I read a part of it, on a coffee table it was, at a friend's house back then. Trump said something very inspiring, which helped me stop drinking alcohol. He said something like " I know I have an advantage over a person who drinks alcohol or an addict, because they secretly know they have a weakness". Don't quote me, but that was the message which stuck. I believe Trump still thinks like that. It is a huge advantage to have, in life.

God be with you. Head meds & Big Pharma are dealing with the devil. 

I'm done talking, like you are not 3 years old, people should know what poison is.

Happy August. 🌞 

A time of dogs & more

 An early childhood memory is of the local public library in this city. My regard and love for animals started when I was very young, and I borrowed all the animal books - dogs,  cats, horses etc gradually, a few at a time from the one small corner of the children's section of that small room. My early foundations as a Peta member had begun.

A favourite old book was Lassie Come-Home by Eric Knight. The hardcover copy had 10 or more full page coloured illustrations throughout, and each of these pages had a thin attached protective paper tissue, almost transparent, in front of the illustration, and I'd turn the tissue page over carefully, marveling no one had ripped it.

When I was around 10 years old, my parents drove to a farm nearby where we got a beautiful collie puppy. She was with us for several years, living free in the orchards around the houses as dogs did at the time. My father liked collies, too, as his relatives back in Russia had several of that breed.

Later, when I was married, my husband & I brought 2 collie puppies home, a year apart. This time, the dogs had pedigrees, and we agreed to show them at dogshows. The lineage of the dogs was partly Dunsinane of Scotland...the same area as the King Macbeth of ancient times.

This all happened long ago. I loved the dogs and have fond memories. 

In my last blog entry I talked about my mother, sister, and relatives. My bro-in-law has apologized, my sister is forgiven and on good terms, and mother is declining. She enjoyed a great mid 90's birthday 🎂 party recently, with several people in attendance. My goal was to keep her at home until her natural passing, but as her doctor advised me, sons & daughters think they can do homecare, but it becomes impossible. Soon, this year, I'll have to place my mother in longterm care, until her natural passing. The care I give her is not going to be enough soon. Her needs are beyond my capabilities.

This all reminds me of Lassie Come-Home. I cried reading the book when I was young, as the impact was immense. Lassie makes the trek from Scotland to England to come home, based in a true story. The boy, when Lassie has to leave to a new residence, says something like "be a good lass and don't come home no more." 

It's going to be a hard time when I have to place my Mom in longterm care. We both tried as long as we could to be together. ❤️